lightbulb jokes

If you can't make fun of yourself, others are definitely making fun of you!

How many hunt sabs does it take to change a light bult?     A:  We're not here to change lightbulbs! we're here to shoot guns

How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?    A: I don't know, but where do you get your protein?

How many Vegan does it take to change a lightbulb?    A:  Two, one to change it and one to check for animal ingredients.

How many vivisections does it take to change a lightbulb?   A: None, they don't want you to see what they are doing.

How many Vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?      A: None, Vegans can't change anything.

How many meat eaters dose it take to change a lightbulb?      A: None, they would rather stay in the dark about things.

How many eco-feminists does it take to change a light bult?       A: That's not funny

How many PeTA members does it take to change a light bulb?   A:  one naked model and 3 people in chicken suits holding signs.

How many Greenpeace activists does it take to change a lightbulb?  A: They write letters and file lawsuits to get the government to change the lightbulb

How many CrimeThInc activists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: ...when the light went out, we donned our berets, grabbed our bagel and went up to the roof top.  Staring out upon the glory of darkness, we knew it was wonderful.

How many Primitivists does it take to change a lightbulb?    A: Primitivists don't need lightbulbs, hey are you going to eat that bug?

How many Trotskyists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: A lightbulb can't be changed. It has to be smashed.

How many American Communists
A: one to change the light bulb, and one to hand out leaflets.

How many members of the rainbow tribe does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them.

How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a hunter?
A: Depends how crisp you want him.

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:

"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!