Dead hunter jokes

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There is a tradition in a certain group of radical environmentalists, they tell "dead cop" jokes around atNew T-shirt at Foodfight! Go buy some! gatherings.  We are co-opting this tradition and redirecting it. Warning! the jokes below are tasteless.

For those with out humor, we are against the intentional killing of hunters.

bulletHow do you spoil a hunter?
Leave it out in the sun.
bulletWhy did the hunter drop it's beer?
It was hit by a truck.
bulletIf a tree falls on a hunter in the forest, and no one is
around to hear it, is it still hilarious?
bulletWhat sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A hunter combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
bulletWhat's blue and sits in the corner?
A hunter in a garbage bag.
bulletWhat is the difference between a dead hunter and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun
bulletHow do you make a dead hunter float?
Two scoops of hunter and some root beer.
bulletWhat's the difference between a dead hunter and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead hunter.
bulletWhat's more fun than a barrel of dead hunters?
Sticking pins in their eyes.
bulletWhat's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A hunter with a burst lifejacket.
bulletHow many dead hunters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
bulletHow do you get a hunter to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
bulletWhat do you get when you put a dead hunter in a tree chipper?
Hold on. I'll tell you in a second.
bulletWhat's pink and spits?
A hunter in a frying pan.
bulletWhat happens when you burn a hunter's face off?
It makes weird noises and crawls into walls.
bulletWhat do you call a dead hunter pinned to your wall?
Art.
bulletWhat's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A hunter in a microwave.
bullet.What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A truck load of hunters on fire.
bulletWhat's grosser than ten dead hunters nailed to a tree?
One dead hunter nailed to ten trees.
bulletWhat's pink and red and silver and runs into walls?
A hunter with forks in its eyes.
bulletWhat's the difference between a hunter and a bagel?
You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the hunter in the oven.
bulletWhat do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs laying on your porch?
Matt.
bulletWhat is red and orange and can't turn round in a corridor?
A hunter with a javelin through its throat.
bulletWhat's the difference between a dead hunter and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead hunter doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
bulletWhat's orange, and red, and full of holes?
Dick Chaney's hunting buddy.
bulletWhat's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A hunter that's been playing with a chainsaw.
bulletWhat does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic hunter get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
bulletHow are hunters and cops alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
bulletWhat bounces up and down at 100mph?
A hunter tied to the back of a truck.
bulletWhat's red, screams and goes around in circles?
A hunter with its foot nailed to the floor.
bulletWhat's the difference between a dead hunter and a felt tip marker?
You don't get second looks when you're writing with a felt tip marker!
bulletWhat's the difference between a watermelon and a dead Hunter?
A watermelon floats.
bulletWhy did the dead hunter cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper
bulletWhat's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead hunters?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
bulletHow many dead hunters can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
bulletWhy do you put a hunter in the tree chipper feet first ?
To see the expression on its face!
bulletWhat do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs laying on a beach?
Sandy.
bulletWhat's the difference between a dead hunter and a golden delicious apple?
You don't have to bleed the golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it
bulletWhat's red and goes round and round?
A hunter in a garbage disposal.
bulletWhat's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A hunter with a punctured lung.
bulletWhat's more fun than stapling hunters to a wall?
Ripping them off again.
bulletWhy do you unload a truck full of hunters with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
bulletWhat's more fun than strapping a hunter to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 100 mph?
Stopping it with a shovel.
bulletWhat's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead hunters?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
bulletHow do you get 100 hunters into a bucket?
With a chain saw!
bulletHow do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!
bulletHow many dead hunters does it take to change a tire?
Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
bulletWhat's white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A hunter shot through a snowblower.
bulletWhy do you stick a hunter in the tree chipper feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!
bulletWhat gets louder as it gets smaller?
A hunter in a trash compactor.
bulletWhat do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs laying in a ditch?
Phil.
bulletWhat's the difference between a Dead hunter and a tree?
One is not cool to hit with an AX.
bulletWhat do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
Bob
bulletHow do you stop a hunter falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
bulletHow many hunters does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
bulletWhat's funnier than a dead hunter?
A dead hunter in a clown costume!
bulletHow do you make a dead hunter float?
Take your foot off of it's head.
bulletWhat's the difference between a dead hunter and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
bulletWhat do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.
bulletHow do you stop a hunter crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
bulletWhat do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
bulletWhat is more disgusting than a dead hunter?
A live hunter.
bullet"what's more fun then strapping a hunter to your bumper and crashing?
A:strapping two to your tires and SKIDDING!!"
bullet What is red & yellow & screams?
A peeled hunter in lemon juice.
bulletWhat's the difference between a hunter & a watermelon?
 A: One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer & the other is a watermelon.
bulletWhat's harder than nailing a dead hunter to a tree?
A: Nailing it to a live trapper!
bulletHow do you stop an injured hunter from crawling?
A: you cut of its hands
bulletWhat does a dead hunter and a jar of ketchup have in common?
A: If you squeeze them hard enough red stuff comes out.
bulletWhat do you call a dead hunter, a rat, 6 week old bread and a pickle?
A: A Big Mac.
bulletWhat's brown and gurgles?
A: A hunter in a casserole.
bulletWhat have you got when you strap a dead hunter to each foot?
A: Slippers.
bulletWhat is red and swings back and forth?
A: A hunter on a meat hook.
bulletWhat is charred black and smells really bad?
A: A hunter chewing on an extension cord.
bulletWhat is worse than running a hunter over with a car?
A: Getting it out of the tires.
bulletWhat have you got when you pile four dead hunters on top of each other?
A: A stool.
bulletWhat is a sure way to stop a hunter from whining?
A: With an axe.
bulletWhat is brown and keeps it's juices in?
A: A hunter in an oven bag.
bulletWhat is the difference between a hunter and a dart-board?
A: Dart-boards don't bleed.
bulletWhat's the difference between a hunter and a speed bump?
A: I slow down for speed bumps.
bulletWhat's the difference between a Thanksgiving tofurkey and a dead hunter?
A: About 25 minutes of cooking time
bulletWhy should you put  a hunter in in the blinder face first?
A: To see their toes curl up into little fists
bulletWhat's more fun that shoveling dead hunters out of the woods after huntin' season ?
A:Using a lawnmower.
bulletHow do you get a hunter out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope you hung him there with.
bulletWhat do dead hunters and microsoft programs have in common?
A: Bugs.
bulletWhat do live hunters and microsoft programs have in common?
A: Bugs.
bulletWhat do you have if you see twenty hunters up to their necks in sand?
A: Not enough sand
bulletWhat is a sure way to stop a hunter from killing the wildlife?
A: With an axe.

A family was waiting in the hospital for word of how old Jed's hunting accident surgery had gone . Moments later the hospital room door opened, and in walked the doctor wheeling Jed in on the gurney.  Suddenly the doc throws the old hunter on the floor, kicks it up against the wall, picks it up and twirls him around several times and smashes him against the wall. Bewildered, the family gives out a loud scream and cries "MY GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO JED?"  The Doctor chuckles a little to herself. "Just Kidding!", she says, "he was already dead!