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There is a tradition in a certain group of radical environmentalists, they
tell "dead cop" jokes around at
gatherings. We are co-opting this tradition and redirecting it. Warning!
the jokes below are tasteless.
For those with out humor, we are against the intentional killing of hunters.
 | How do you spoil a hunter?
Leave it out in the sun. |
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| Why did the hunter drop it's beer?
It was hit by a truck. |
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| If a tree falls on a hunter in the forest, and no one is
around to hear it, is it still hilarious? |
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| What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A hunter combing it's hair with a potato peeler! |
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| What's blue and sits in the corner?
A hunter in a garbage bag. |
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| What is the difference between a dead hunter and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun |
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| How do you make a dead hunter float?
Two scoops of hunter and some root beer. |
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| What's the difference between a dead hunter and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead hunter. |
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| What's more fun than a barrel of dead hunters?
Sticking pins in their eyes. |
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| What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A hunter with a burst lifejacket. |
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| How many dead hunters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket. |
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| How do you get a hunter to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower. |
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| What do you get when you put a dead hunter in a tree chipper?
Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. |
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| What's pink and spits?
A hunter in a frying pan. |
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| What happens when you burn a hunter's face off?
It makes weird noises and crawls into walls. |
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| What do you call a dead hunter pinned to your wall?
Art. |
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| What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A hunter in a microwave. |
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| .What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A truck load of hunters on fire. |
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| What's grosser than ten dead hunters nailed to a tree?
One dead hunter nailed to ten trees. |
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| What's pink and red and silver and runs into walls?
A hunter with forks in its eyes. |
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| What's the difference between a hunter and a bagel?
You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the hunter in the
oven. |
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| What do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs laying on
your porch?
Matt. |
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| What is red and orange and can't turn round in a corridor?
A hunter with a javelin through its throat. |
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| What's the difference between a dead hunter and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead hunter doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it. |
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| What's orange, and red, and full of holes?
Dick Chaney's hunting buddy. |
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| What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A hunter that's been playing with a chainsaw. |
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| What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic hunter get for Christmas ?
Cancer. |
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| How are hunters and cops alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars. |
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| What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A hunter tied to the back of a truck. |
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| What's red, screams and goes around in circles?
A hunter with its foot nailed to the floor. |
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| What's the difference between a dead hunter and a felt tip marker?
You don't get second looks when you're writing with a felt tip marker!
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| What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead Hunter?
A watermelon floats. |
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| Why did the dead hunter cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper |
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| What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead
hunters?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage. |
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| How many dead hunters can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2. |
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| Why do you put a hunter in the tree chipper feet first ?
To see the expression on its face! |
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| What do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs laying on a
beach?
Sandy. |
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| What's the difference between a dead hunter and a golden delicious
apple?
You don't have to bleed the golden delicious apple before you take a bite
out of it |
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| What's red and goes round and round?
A hunter in a garbage disposal. |
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| What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A hunter with a punctured lung. |
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| What's more fun than stapling hunters to a wall?
Ripping them off again. |
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| Why do you unload a truck full of hunters with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive. |
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| What's more fun than strapping a hunter to a clothesline and then
spinning it around at 100 mph?
Stopping it with a shovel. |
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| What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a
truck full of dead hunters?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork. |
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| How do you get 100 hunters into a bucket?
With a chain saw! |
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| How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!! |
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| How many dead hunters does it take to change a tire?
Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes. |
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| What's white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A hunter shot through a snowblower. |
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| Why do you stick a hunter in the tree chipper feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face! |
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| What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A hunter in a trash compactor. |
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| What do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs laying in a
ditch?
Phil. |
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| What's the difference between a Dead hunter and a tree?
One is not cool to hit with an AX. |
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| What do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs in a
swimming pool?
Bob |
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| How do you stop a hunter falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head. |
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| How many hunters does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them. |
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| What's funnier than a dead hunter?
A dead hunter in a clown costume! |
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| How do you make a dead hunter float?
Take your foot off of it's head. |
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| What's the difference between a dead hunter and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off. |
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| What do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs in the
middle of the ocean?
Fucked. |
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| How do you stop a hunter crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor. |
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| What do you call a dead hunter with no arms and no legs hanging on
your wall?
Art. |
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| What is more disgusting than a dead hunter?
A live hunter. |
| "what's more fun then strapping a hunter to your bumper and
crashing? -strapping two to your tires and
SKIDDING!!" |
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